Perhaps and a Lifetime Ago
by Kneeling Goddess
Summary: Suzume told me to rate it that - it's a co-author fic. Probably will have yaoi/slash. ^_^ Kaworu and Shinji, alt. universe, 'what if' style. Enjoy!


This is a co-author fic, but Kneeling Goddess INSISTED we post it under her name. -_-…. This is me, Suzume… ^_^ I said therefore I got to talk first, and so I've said what I needed to. I think, with the way KG talks, I can just sit back and watch her take care of all of the disclaimers and notes.   
  
Hee hee… I've decided to do a yaoi at last (bad, bad KG! ^_~) because of Suzume's evil influence on me -_-….  
  
He he… It's an alternate reality, inspired by 'God is in Heaven and all is Not Right on Earth'… a must read. Tho there are others, I'll admit, that was the most recent I've read *looks guilty* …   
  
(Many 'gomen's to The Epyon Avenger… that was a really nice review you wrote, and I know you dislike yaoi… This really IS all your fault, Suzume!!! This is dedicated [unless you hate yaoi, and if so, gomen again] to anyone who wrote a review… I feel so luved *sniffs happily*)   
  
Alright, yaoi, maybe even hentai coming up. Unless my muses are lying, which they do sometimes.  
  
Dedicated to Suzume, who knows how much she stinks ^_~ and, of course, to Kitsune- yasha, who writes really well. Suzume says I should write to you, but my email is sorta down right now… ;_; and to the brilliant author of whisper, (yes, Suzume, I do like it too).  
  
Uh, disclaimer, I sound different every mood I'm in, so if you're expecting another fic like my last, er, sorry… This is done in a mood that's not very inspired… Sort of forced inspiration, so this'll be a flimsy story… And I'm not really trying to make it interesting or anything, I just have to write it. But anyways, enough with me.  
  
I don't own anything. Nothing. I definitely don't own the characters, and even the plot is bitten off from several places. And it stinks, and I know. But the stuff I'm biting off doesn't.  
  
Personal disclaimer:  
I'm broke, don't sue, 0_o   
Be nice, review. ^_~  
  
Alrighty, so I lied, there was a little more. But that's all, I swear!!!!   
  
Here goes…  
  
(=-P:. (=-P:. (=-P:. (=-P:. (=-P:. (=-P:. (=-P:.   
  
Shinji sipped quietly at his Coke, chucking icecubes at Pen-pen as he flipped channels.  
  
Pen-pen missed one, and scuttled out of the room after it. Sighing, Shinji turned off the TV and wandered into the kitchen.  
  
Bored, bored, bored, bored.   
  
He disposed of an empty beer-can, grumbling vaguely that the next time Misato was over, he would give her a piece of his mind, teacher or not. Yui was just too easy on him. Moms were that way. Grimly, he picked up a ho-ho's package – empty. Why didn't people just get rid of these things? Was he the ONLY neat one on the face of the planet? Even Gendo left things strewn across the house in odd places – socks on the sofa, empty chip-bags… (on the television, no less… how many people just randomly place things on the top of the TV? -_-)  
  
Finally, having cleaned up the kitchen, he prepared himself a snack. Soon, cookies and milk were arranged nicely on the table. Yui wandered in, honing in on the familiar smell, but Gendo remained attached to his computer, deeply absorbed in the latest programming technology. He knew he could rely on his devoted wife to smuggle a few into the room for her busy husband.  
  
The amazing thing was, despite the hungry household, Shinji had overestimated the general appetite.   
  
There were 6 cookies left. He didn't usually do that sort of thing… Oh well. The contented boy stashed them away where he could eat them later.  
  
Back to the television. Still nothing on. Bored, bored, bored.  
  
Shinji sighed.  
  
-_- ZzZZZzzz…. -_- ZzZZZzzz…. -_- ZzZZZzzz…. -_- ZzZZZzzz….  
  
"I'm LATE!!!!" In a rush of realization, Shinji bolted out of his room, bowling over Asuka, who had come to wake him, and then unfailingly apoligized, still running full speed through his regular morning routine.   
  
Eat. Dress. Collect books. Finish those 3 math problems.  
  
In record time, Shinji was out of the door, being dragged along at light-speed by the merciless Asuka.   
  
"Hurry up, you-moron-we're-gonna-be-late-no-don't-stop-to-tie-your-shoes-HURRY!" She steamed while motoring along.  
  
Rei joined them with the usual "bang", sandwitch falling from where it was held between her teeth with an "oh, CRAP!"  
  
"LATE!" Asuka shrilled, "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!! RUN!"  
  
-Weren't we already running?- Shinji thought dazedly. –Ah, well. Doesn't matter. It's like this every morning, and we haven't actually been late yet. –  
  
@_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@ @_@  
  
Katsuragi marched back and forth across the front of the class, looking for all the world like a Major. Shinji restrained from laughing – Misato – a MAJOR? Not likely. She was bad enough being a responsible teacher. She would be a nighmare in any higher position.   
  
She looked official. She looked professional. She looked mature. She looked very, very pissed.  
  
"Kaji must've dumped her again." Toji speculated as Kensuke quietly passed him the answers to the homework.   
  
"Yeah, I guess so. Hey, I was wondering, did you hear? They were… they were talking about never seeing each other again. Can you believe it?" Kensuke asked of the jock.  
  
"Well," Toji, grinning, began, "I might have believed it, were this not – what – the HUNDREDTH time they've said that? Naw, somehow I doubt it. Call it instinct."  
  
Both laughed. Misato looked to the clock, wondering if school hours had began so she could punish them for making noise. No such luck.  
  
Asuka tugged on Shinji's arm. "Hey, honey-bunches, why don't you check your answers with mine? You know I'm always right…." She began to purr, clinging possessively. Shinji looked to the sky, pleading for some divine force to pry the maniacal redhead from his arm.   
  
(AN: [Suzume]: That was my line. I'm very proud of it. [KG]: Shaddup. U say *I* talk.)  
  
And surely enough, it would appear that God was not only listening, but chose to comply. A large textbook chose that moment to drop onto Asuka's head.  
  
"Oooooowwww!!! Scheiße!" Asuka began a colorful stream of German profanities.  
  
"Sorry. And no, I won't. That isn't the type of things one usually enjoys to do with books." A calm voice behind them caused both Shinji and Asuka to turn, perfectly synchronized.   
  
"K… Kaworu? You know GERMAN?" Asuka sputtered, hoping that the boy was just a lucky guesser.  
  
"Yes, or at least moderately. Those do appear to be relatively common phrases, despite… such meanings that they hold. I do suggest you stop using them." Kaworu commented good-naturedly.  
  
"I hate you!" Scowled the defeated teenager, flopping back into her seat just as the bell rang. Shinji slouched out of site, as close to sitting as he ever got. Kaworu returned silently to his desk.  
  
"So, Shinji, what do you listen to nowadays?" Rei asked, in a desparate attempt to capture his attention. "You always walk around with that walkman on!"  
  
"Er, nothing. I dunno… right now, I listen to… "I wanna be bad", which is by-"  
  
"Willa Ford. I like it too! And Yellow, that's my other favorite. By Coldplay. Aside from "Puddle of mud" by Control." Asuka chirruped, trying to get Shinji to listen to HER.  
  
"I thought, actually, that he listened to… Falling for the First Time." Toji commented, hoping to get a word in edgewise.  
  
"By… Barenaked Ladies…" Kensuke said, grinning, with a hinting tone in his voice.  
  
"Million Miles Away! I know he likes that! It's by Offspring! Or… Superman." Slipped in Asuka, not to be outdone.  
  
"By Five for Fighting. And Everywhere to Me, by Michelle Branch. Or I Could be Like That. By 3 Doors Down. And even 'Awhile' by Staind." Rei murmured, wanting to have the last word of all.  
  
"Actually… My walkman has been broken for about three months now. But I don't really listen to music too much, anyway. Except for stuff at Asuka's house. Well, sometimes, I listen to stuff Toji's house. He'll let me play "Ode to Joy" when he's out." Shinji mumbled, slouching further down into his seat, hoping that they would shut up and get to the lesson.  
  
"CHILDREN!" Well, maybe they would. Children? Ouch. The class winced.  
  
"I SAID, CHILDREN!" Misato barked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THE BELL RANG! DETENTION! YES, I MEAN YOU! ASUKA, REI, TOJI AND KENSUKE! THAT'S ENOUGH!"  
  
The four named victims shrank into miserable puddles. Detention. The lovebirds must have had the biggest fight… of the week or something. Damn. A sigh slithered out of Shinji – HE hadn't been given detention. There would be no one to talk to at break, though. Looked like another day of boredom.  
  
The class stumbled and snored through the lesson – who really needs to study algebra, anyway? They droned on all the way through to break, when Shinji waved ashamedly to all of his friends and sulked out onto the field.  
  
And sat there, wondering what to do.  
  
"I'll race you." Shinji looked up, surprised. It was Kaworu, smiling softly and offering his hand to pull Shinji up.  
  
"Uh, sure. Why not? I'm warning you, I'm pretty fast, though. I won at track last year…" Shinji mumbled as he was pulled to his feet.   
  
Kaworu's hand remained clasped around his. He looked a little glazed…  
  
"Kaworu? Kaworu! You can let go…" Shinji yanked out of his surprizingly strong grasp.  
  
"Oh, sorry. I was distracted." He didn't really look sorry, or even frightened at the prospect of holding another boy's hand, but perhaps a little… just the tiniest bit pink. Maybe amused.  
  
"So, still up for racing?" Shinji persisted, intent on getting this over with… Kaworu didn't look, perhaps, if he overly enjoyed the company of a boy as unpopular as himself. ([Suzume] hehe, you have no idea, hun XD…)  
  
"Yeah. Yeah." Kaworu trotted, less than enthusiastically, over to the staggered start of the track.  
  
-Maybe he was dared, or lost a bet or something. He sure doesn't seem too happy.- Shinji thought, but still, there was that small, soft smile playing across Kaworu's pale lips.  
  
"Ready?" Questioned Kaworu, beginning the countdown before it was confirmed, "3…2…1… GO!"  
  
Both boys bolted off. They were both excellent runners. Dust was kicked up behind them, and there were a few grumblings about that as a breeze brought it to other people, but all the two boys could see was the finish line. ([KG]: Now THAT was cheesey, Suzume) Shinji, in a last desparate attempt to save his reputation as the best runner, (AN: We're making this up as we go along, ok? We have the storyline, but not the specifics ^^;) let out a burst of speed from his last reserve of strength. Yet, Kaworu remained exactly parallel. Frustrated, Shinji found a source he had never known he had before, and ran with every atom, cell, molecule – whatever he had, he used it. STILL, the pale-haired boy equalled him. He EQUALLED him. Shinji's eyes widened – how?.. But it was possible, he knew, because this boy, this competitor, had brought him to his last, smallest particle of energy, and was still running. Perhaps disbelief, perhaps momentum, was the only thing that kept him going.  
  
But somehow, he did. He kept on going, kept on running, kept on finding 'last' bits of strenth as all energy was drained at the demands of his body.  
  
And that was how they passed the finish line – together.   
  
Shinji looked over at Kaworu, who smiled a sweaty, tired smile.  
  
"Good race. Nice job." Shinji managed, watching the world tilt slightly as his lungs and chest screamed.  
  
"Thank you. You, too. The track coach will probably be all over us, now, though…" Kaworu laughed. His laugh was soft and comforting, like that of a mother, but more… More boyish. More traces of masculinity.   
  
"Thanks." Shinji coughed, his lungs feeling as though he were breathing air as opposed to water… He swayed, and Kaworu caught him by the shoulders.  
  
"You ok?" Questioned the taller, pale boy.  
  
"Yeah, I think so. Just a little dizzy. Could you stand there just a minute?… I think I might fall…" Shinji gasped, embarassed as he leaned against Kaworu's chest, feeling it heave in rhythm with his own. Kaworu was warm… And soft. Shinji felt himself resisting the urge to snuggle – SNUGGLE? Up to his sturdy companion.  
  
-It must be a side affect of running so hard… feeling all weird like this.- Shinji thought dazedly, brushing it off ([Suzume]: he he, you wish. No such luck. You're my fav, and I won't let you get away straight!!)  
  
"You're SURE you'll alright?" Kaworu whispered, and Shinji became painfully aware that Kaworu's lips brushed against his ears as he spoke…  
  
"I… I don't know." Shinji admitted, breathing ragged –but that was from running, right?  
  
"Should I stay here? I mean… people will…" Kaworu gestured with a palm, carelessly… but a beautiful palm. It made the gesture beautiful, too.  
  
-I must be sick – Shinji decided  
  
"Sorry… sorry. I think you can let go now." Shinji breathed…  
  
"Ok, if you're sure…" Kaworu let Shinji drop. Which, of course he did. Drop. He gave a sharp gasp as a cruel gash appeared on his knee, courtesy of a sharp rock. Blood dribbled out into a scarlet puddle beneath him.  
  
Great. Just great. Why did he have to be embarrassed? So dizzy…  
  
"I… I think I'm a little sick. I'm gonna go to the nurses; I can't see straight. It's all spinning…" Shinji choked out, kneeling there like a moron in the midst of the growing amount of blood…  
  
"There's just so much. Blood." His mind was drifting as he said it, and to his half surprise, he began to laugh. He sounded like someone on crack.  
  
-Definitely sick- ([Suzume]: ahh, young love ^_~)  
  
He had the strange sensation of being cradled and carried before he passed out. Cold.  
=-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U**** =-U****   
  
Waking to… water. An awful smell. Shinji was fully awake now, wondering what had caused the atmosphere of the nurse's room to change so drastically… When he realized that that wasn't where he was at all. He was…   
  
In the Men's room. Wonderful.  
  
Water was running over his cut, and it rolled down his leg into a sink, tinting the water a pinkish color. The cut looked pretty deep… He hoped he wouldn't need stiches…  
  
"Hey. What's up, sleepyhead? We only have… I dunno, about 10 minutes of break left, now. Hope you can save whatever you do at break for lunch. Right now, I need to clean up that cut. Hold still." Kaworu drifted in and out of Shinji's vision, talking all the while.  
  
"The nurse?" Still sounding dazed, and, in his own opinion, rather doped-up, Shinji asked the first question that came to his mind.  
  
"What? Oh, the nurse. Well, she's pretty busy today – I hear Toji was let out early due to good behaivior, but blew it by having a scuffle with a new kid. So they're both in pretty bad shape, though I'm sure they'll be fine."  
  
"ANOTHER fight? Sheesh, the guy can't handle a moment's peace, can he? Oh well. OWCH!" Shinji tried to wrench Kaworu away from his bloody knee, shoving away the soapy wash-cloth, but Kaworu was more than a match in strength, so Shinji contented himself to howl at the boy for every minute that he continued his administrations(?).  
  
"Yes, I KNOW it hurts. You're acting like a child, Shinji." Kaworu scolded.  
  
Strangely enough, that cut deeper than the stone had. Shinji fell silent. Words were often a failure when used as a medium to hurt him. But that hurt.  
  
When Kaworu had finished the painful ordeal of cleaning the cut, he wrapped gauze tightly around it, securing it with a clip.  
  
-Now, where did he get THAT? No one carries around that stuff all the time…- Shinji wondered, still quiet…  
  
"Now, to make it all better," Kaworu interrupted Shinji's thoughts, winking at him. Shinji's stomach felt… Strange. It was a soft, warm feeling, and it spread through him…  
  
He was not prepared for Kaworu to kneel over and kiss his knee. Not in the slightest. Nor was he prepared for the flicker in Kaworu's gaze, a dangerous, hinting flicker, that was gone in a moment.  
  
This gaze was dark, and beautiful, deep red. Crimson velvet, a flowing, warning gaze… Caught, trapped, drowning in blood…  
  
And suddenly gone. Gone. As if it had never been.  
  
And perhaps, perhaps it hadn't.  
  
But Shinji didn't think so.  
  
He didn't think so at all.  
  
But he took the offered hand. And wasn't embarassed – not really – to be carried out in those soft warm arms. It didn't matter – gay, straight – it was all bull. All that he had been taught equalled nothing. Or, that's how he felt, trembling, in the arms of an angel.  
  
X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~* X-D~*  
  
Asuka and Rei were waiting for him unfailingly after school. Some things were always constant – he wished that that, of all things, wasn't. But it was, and they were there, and there wasn't much he could do about it. Well, sort of.  
  
"Ladies, I'm really, really sorry. However, I seem to have a really important appointment that I forgot about – I remembered it seventh period, when you guys were in Creative Writing. I really need to go. Sorry!" He slid out of the way of the barrage of questions and flaming dissapointments from the twin demons, and dashed off out of sight. Panting, he leaned against the building, clutching his leg, greatful for the support of the white-washed wall behind his back.  
  
Kaworu stepped from the classroom, and appeared mildly startled to see Shinji waiting for him.  
  
"You were… waiting for me?" He inquired softly, gaze gentler than it had been. A breeze stirred his silver-white bangs.  
  
"Well, no, uh, not really, but… you know? Um…", Shinji thrust around desparately for something to say for the waiting boy, "I was wondering… uh… I was wondering… like…um…. Could you?… I was wondering… er…. Wondering, would you like to come to my house?"  
  
"Sure!" A peaceful grin settled upon his long lips, "I would love to. When?"  
  
"Erm… Uh, well…. I… come… could you come today? That would be nice…"  
  
"Gladly. I just need to get to the payphone; I hafta tell Mom that I won't be coming home. She doesn't know you… so I'll just tell her I'm staying after school for a while. She gets nervous when I go to someone's house. Over protective sorta stuff. Hang on a sec." A few moments later, Kaworu re-appeared, triumphant, and 35 cents poorer.  
  
"So, it worked? You can come?"   
  
"Yes, I can. I can stay until… dinner." The pale youth explained, running a hand through his unruly hair.  
  
"That would be absolutely perfect. That's around when my parents come home, anyway. They don't like guests too much, especially when I don't call ahead… I hope you don't mind, but I don't think I'll introduce you for a while…" Shinji murmured apoligetically… -yeah. That would go over REAL well. 'Hey, Mom, hey Dad! Sup? Yeah, well, I'm gay, and this is the love of my life, Kaworu, who has no idea.' Right.-  
  
"Absolutely. I understand." Kaworu's smile flickered and became, if possible, gentler, and brighter. Startled, Shinji gasped as Kaworu unashamedly grasped his hand as though he were a small child.  
  
And didn't let go.  
  
Shinji guessed it was unconscious - HE sure wasn't going to complain. The younger, brown-haired boy skipped happily alongside his newfound love, marching into autumn's glory with a new brightness clutched in hand.  
  
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